Feelings Unknown
by LiveForTheShip
Summary: A day of rest is uncalled for and uncommon. Rivaille has an idea of how he feels towards Eren but can he get it across Eren that these feelings are real. Eren is suffering from a deluded mind and does not take his feelings seriously.


**Feelings Unknown**

_Chapter 1 - Mistake_

Rivaille was going out for his usual jog in the morning; it had been some time since he had had a chance jog. All this while he either had to go and fight in case there was a breach in the wall or train Eren's titan form. On this peaceful morning he could feel all the strain and pain released of his back.

He jogged five laps around the hideout until he got tired. He then started a casual walk. Maybe he was just imagining it or it was real but he felt someone looking at him. He immediately turned around to look at the open window of the hideout, and there (without even trying to hide) was Eren, staring at him. Rivaille rendered speechless at first and just vapidly stared back.

"What are you staring at brat?"

Eren slumped down and put his head on his folded hands that were on the windowsill. He pouted at the question, looked up then looked back at Rivaille and smiled his goofy smile.

"Tch" was all Eren received as Rivaille walked away. Rivaille went back to the hideout and had a bath. It would be time for training now if they weren't on a break.  
'Why is Eren still here?' thought Rivaille, 'shouldn't he be with his annoying friends doing shit like they always do?'.  
He went out for a little fresh air, on seeing Eren lie under the tree he approached him. It wasn't the idea he had in mind but he was already standing in front of him. He looked down at Eren's resting body which made it more awkward for Rivaille rather than Eren.

"What are you doing Jaeger?" Rivaille finally broke the awkward silence that only he was feeling.

"Sleeping sir." Eren replied in a nonchalant way. He didn't even attempt to open his eyes.

"I meant what are you doing _here_?" Rivaille wasn't pleased with Eren's answer but how can you tell anyway. Annoyance is one thing Rivaille easily gave way to.

Eren opened one eye then the other to look at Rivaille. His eyes turning a lighter shade of green in the sunlight. Rivaille was unmoved.

"What do you mean sir?" Eren furrowed his eyebrows.

"Why aren't you with your friends enjoying yourself?"

Eren then shut his eyes again and smiled. "I wanted peace."

Rivaille sat down next to Eren to lean against the tree. There was truth in what Eren had said. Everyone has been praying for peace since the titans had ever been existed, not all could sleep peacefully especially those who have seen them. Rivaille, humanity's strongest, the great fighter, all this reputations had to be kept up. For so long he had not got a good shuteye. It wasn't anyone's fault after all; it's the path he chose. At least that's what he thought. Rivaille could understand how it is for Eren, everyone blaming the wrong things that happen on Eren, every time those that are killed have died in vain unless Eren makes up for it. Rivaille truly could not understand this logic.

Rivaille woke up with a startle and realized he must have dozed off. He looked down to see Eren lying on his lap. Eren was still sleeping and hopefully with peace.  
"Now that I think of it, you haven't slept well in a while now have you?" Rivaille mumbled.  
Rivaille slowly brushed the brunette's hair of his face and stroked his cheeks. He touched it gently so as to not wake Eren up from his sleep. It was probably afternoon now and he was starting to get hungry.

Eren slowly opened his eyes and realized he was directly facing Rivaille. An awkward realization and he quickly jerks off Rivaille's lap.

"Ano…hungry?"

"Yes." Rivaille got up and headed for the entrance while Eren followed.  
Everyone had gone out. They had planned a trip to wall Sina and Eren and Rivaille were welcomed but they had declined the offer. Rivaille had declined though thinking he would be alone but Eren had unknowingly refused as well.

They ate their food in silence. The silence wasn't awkward though, it was actually pleasing. After they had finished Eren was made to wash his plate. On a day like this they had nothing to do. Rivaille took this opportunity to clean the place up. Eren had just dully stared as Rivaille cleared the shelf. Rivaille turned around and returned the stare.

"If you're so jobless, why not help out." Rivaille handed him the books and a cloth gesturing him to wipe them. Eren obliged happily and Rivaille was proud of that fact. Rivaille calmed as he cleaned the shelf and Eren heard him hum to himself making him smile.

"What the fuck you smiling at?" Eren looked up from the books as the question was directed to him. Rivaille was holding a bucket now.

"Huh? I was smiling?" Eren hadn't realized the fact that he _was _smiling. Why would he anyway, he hardly realizes anything these days, including his feelings.

"Never mind, I want this shelf sparkling by the time I finish cleaning the top rooms, got it?"

"Yes, sir!"

By the time Rivaille had finished re-cleaning the shelf it was dark. They ate their supper and went out to feed their horses. It was later that they felt like going out on the roof. The sky was filled with stars all around, not a cloud in sight and the moon was missing from its position. It was a beautiful view. The view of course wasn't that uncommon, it's just that they had no time to gaze at it which made it look more beautiful than before.

"Hey sir? Do you want to play a game?" Eren asked.

"Yeah sure, why not." Rivaille was still uninterested.

"The game is played like this; both of us has to compliment each other until one of us runs out of compliments. The one who runs out loses."

"What type of shitty game is this? Isn't it obvious you'll have more compliments than me." Rivaille replied amused along with a smirk.

"Are you chickening out?"

"Oh alright. But I'm not starting this fucking retarded game."

"Okay then I'll go first. You're….. uh… you're strong." Eren smiled satisfied with his answer.

"Why thank you, I'm very flattered. You're not bad yourself."

"Do we count that as a compliment?"

"Shouldn't I be asking that question?"

"Well you're right, but I don't think that's counted fair right? So then it's your turn."

"You're smart for a brat like yourself."

"My a compliment in an insult, how touching."

"Well that's my ideal." Rivaille announced as if he had accomplished something.

"Alright we'll consider that." Eren sulked where he sat, "even though it's unfair." He muttered to himself.

"Well I'm still waiting, or have you already lost, because that would really be insulting." Rivaille mocked raising an eyebrow.

"okay okay…. You're fast."

"Meaning?"

"You're quick at whatever you do. You're speed is lightning fast. Especially when you're fighting."

"Oh gee thanks…" Rivaille went back to his casual tone. "You're kind."

Eren jerked at this compliment and turned around to look at Rivaille. Rivaille just gave him a blank look.

"Sir?" Eren looked confused and thought to himself if he was really speaking to his captain. He was really shocked by the words coming out of Rivaille.

"What?" Rivaille raised an eyebrow.

"You have a strong heart, sir." Eren continued and looked down and laughed a slight embarrassed. "I just wasn't expecting that from you sir."

"Why so? Didn't you just say that I have a strong heart?"

"You're right…haha…It's just …well how do I say this - you're not quite expressive."

"Oh? I see… well anyway guess it's my turn. You're laudable."

Eren got up as he chuckled. He went and sat where Rivaille was lying.

"You're lovable." Eren breathed as he leaned down and kissed Rivaille. This came out a shock for Rivaille but the moment passed and slowly his eyelids closed and he returned the kiss. The kiss lasted for a minute, Eren was the first to pull away. Eren was red with embarrassment, he could feel his heart beating hard against his chest. He got up flustered and turned away.

"Uh…I…umm…I'm sorry. I must be hyped. Hehe…uh goodnight." He was hesitating a lot, he immediately rushed away, leaving Rivaille dazed. Rivaille got up, then put his face into the palms of his hand. He wasn't one to be easily stirred but now his heart was racing like crazy.

"What…what is wrong with that kid? Rather what the fuck is wrong with me?" Rivaille mumbled to himself.  
He lay back down and gazed at the stars, not really noticing them instead he replayed the scene over and over in his mind. The warmth of Eren's breath, the feel of his soft lips entrancing him, the smell of Eren's sweaty scent was still lingering and to Rivaille it was pleasing. He unknowingly had fallen for Eren.

Meanwhile in Eren's room down in the basement, Eren was disconcerted and mortified at what had just happened. He wondered on how he would ever face Rivaille. He was dissatisfied and wondered what was the cause of it. He thought it might have been the drink he had but that was pushed away as he didn't feel a bit drowsy at that moment and he felt perfectly fine now. Well not fine but not drunk either. 'I must be missing my friends or maybe sleep deprivation. Yeah that must be it, I'm just suffering from slight side effects. It will all be over tomorrow.' Eren muttered to no one in particular. But still having assured himself of the cause he still did not get a wince of sleep thinking of the circumstances to come.

The next morning Eren was afraid to step out of his room but he knew he couldn't last there forever especially since he started to get hungry. He would have to eventually meet him. He went towards the window as he watched Rivaille jog. Rivaille was casual like nothing had ever happened as if it were an everyday life. Eren relaxed and felt assured that nothing had happened and it was all a horrible nightmare. Rivaille then stopped and turned around to look at Eren. Eren immediately ducked and moved away turning red as he did so.

"Oh?" Rivaille murmured, "so he's self-aware." He then continued to jog.

Eren came back to his position and watched as Rivaille moved out of sight.  
'What's wrong? Maybe it wasn't a dream after all.' Eren thought to himself.

Everyone was coming back from the trip that day. The whole while Eren managed to avoid Rivaille and if they ever did meet Rivaille showed no expression of anything ever happening. Eren was bothered by this, but said nothing as it would mean they had to bring it up. Bringing it up was one thing Eren did not want to do which would only make it more embarrassing than it already is.

By afternoon everyone had come back and the once quiet room was now bubbling with noise and excitement. Eren went to greet everyone and without doubt Rivaille was there.

"Eren!" Armin walked towards Eren and hugged him."You should have come. It was stunning!"

"There was a lot of meat too!" Sasha added.

"Yeah and most of them were eaten by you." Connie told Sasha and he laughed which got him into a fight with Sasha.

"Well anyway how was your time with the corporal?" Armin asked (not trying to be cocky or anything but in a concerning way).

"Well, it…was…it was all fine." Eren replied.

"Eren… are you not feeling well? You're turning red." Armin asked with concern.

"Eren!" Mikasa came in overhearing their conversation, she looked furious and had a murderous expression, "Why? What's wrong Eren? Did he force you to work again? Why that creep I'll kill him!"

"No! Mikasa it isn't that." Eren screamed rendering everyone to stare at him.

"Well…uh", feeling awkward smiled, "I think I'll go out for a little fresh air." Eren left while everyone's eyes followed him and after he left through the door the room started an uproar again. Eren walked towards the tree from yesterday and leaned on it. He closed his eyes.

"What are you planning Eren?" A deep familiar voice startled him.

"Sir! Huh?" Eren looked puzzled and utterly hopeless as he stared blankly at Rivaille. He remembered the event that took place that night and felt rather ashamed.

"What's going through your mind?" Rivaille rephrased his question.

"I don't understand sir."

"How exactly do you feel about me?" Rivaille asked with a stern voice, while Eren stared vapidly at him trying so hard to get out words.


End file.
